For years I have witnessed you grow up, from a 16-year-old girl, and I have read through your tears and smiles a host of ups and downs. I have read about falling further from God, and read about your return to Him, which always comes. I have read about great bouts of depression and great joy and hope in looking forward. There is a time between adolescence and adulthood in which it is very easy to become terribly frightened that you're not going where you would like to go, not becoming who you will need to be in the world, that your whole development has been abnormally stunted and, perhaps, before you know what has happened, you will be 45 and living with mum and dad. But, if I can be so bold as to assure you, that won't happen. God has plans for you. He has created you in Christ Jesus for good works, things that he prepared in advance for you to do. Don't fret, these are not things you're supposed to do, but might miss, might fail to do. These are things you will do. God will make certain of it. They are foreordained just for you, with God at the wheel. He saved you for a purpose within his church. He administers gifts to each Christian for a purpose in his kingdom, and just as certainly as he put you in the body, he will put you to use in it, and you can't stop him. You may have lost faith in yourself, but keep your faith in God. You're worth much in Christ. You're his now, and he won't ruin his own reputation by letting you fail. I hope 2010 is full or joy and progress and a figuring out more about yourself and where God has destined to take you.